Inauguration News

I enjoyed these brief stories from the Onion:

Inauguration Crowd Moves To White House Gates To Watch Presidency Happen
WASHINGTON—Moments after witnessing the historic inauguration of President Barack Obama Tuesday, the massive, euphoric crowd shifted to the White House gates to watch the rest of his four-year term unfold. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see the new president administrate as it happens," said Hawaii resident Matt Rogers, who paid a scalper $100 to secure his portion of sidewalk until January 2013. "These first 100 days will really set the tone for his presidency, and I'm going to see it all from 50 yards away." This is reportedly the largest crowd of presidential spectators to assemble since 1974, when 20 million Americans stood for six months outside disgraced former president Nixon's home in San Clemente, CA just to rub it in.

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Hillary Clinton Mouthing Along To Presidential Oath
WASHINGTON—Network news cameras covering Barack Obama's inauguration ceremony Tuesday captured Hillary Clinton silently moving her lips along with each word of the minute-long presidential oath of office. As she stood watching several yards from Chief Justice John Roberts, the former Democratic presidential candidate could be observed placing her left hand on a leather appointment book and raising her right hand slightly from her hip. Clinton, who carefully followed the swearing-in procedure with her eyes shut tightly, only varied from the president's words once, when she soundlessly mouthed her name instead of Barack Obama's. Clinton was later seen at an inaugural ball pretending she was dancing with first lady Michelle Obama.