I love the Sports Guy's diaries. He's posting running diaries of the first four games of MLB's postseason. (Read the A's-Twins or Cardinals-Padres.) Here are a few excerpts from his Cardinals-Padres account:
1:43 -- Disturbing sideline report from Duke: When David Wells was a Toronto rookie, he lived at Jesse Barfield's house and occasionally babysat Baby Josh Barfield (before he became Young Josh Barfield), even changing some diapers and everything. Now that's horrifying. Meanwhile, Berman has dropped three "Young Josh Barfields" and two "Little David Ecksteins" in less than three innings. Couldn't he throw in a "Fat Ronnie Belliard" now and then?
1:50 -- New from Domino's: Oven-baked brownie squares!!!! That ranks right up there with Pizza Hut introducing the Lasagna Pizza on the "Did we really need to create ways for Americans to become even fatter?" scale.
2:15 -- Another email from Nigel in NY: "From the A's-Twinkies running diary, you said: 'Let's see what Barry Zito brings to the table here ... as Keith Law pointed out this week, the spacious Oakland outfield and their D makes his record seems much better than it is.' I'm no Zito fan, but his home ERA this year was 4.71 and road ERA was 2.97. In the same number of starts he gave up twice as many HRs at home. You are like a weatherman. You can make stuff up, be completely wrong, and never get fired."
(All good points. I'm an idiot. Although I might have to break up with Keith Law. This was unforgivable. By the way, two on, no outs for the Pads ... and "Young Adrian Gonzalez" is up. I need a drink.)
2:33 -- Orel mistakenly says the phrase "first basemans." Sadly, I can't make fun of him -- I'm the same guy who wrote that David Stern "freezed" the Knicks envelope last week.