Say What?

Here's a headline I never thought I'd see: Abortion: why it’s the ultimate motherly act. Caitlin Moran wrote this column for the U.K.'s Times Online. Here's some of her rhetoric:

... If women are, by biology, commanded to host, shelter, nurture and protect life, why should they not be empowered to end life, too? I’m not advocating stoving in the heads of children, or encouraging late abortions — but then, no one is. What I am vexed with is the idea that, by having an early abortion, a woman is somehow being unfemale and, indeed, unmotherly. ...

Um, Caitlin, "mother" is generally understood to be a name used for female parents. "Parent" is generally understood to be the guardian of children. If a woman has an abortion, then she is preventing herself from being a parent, and guardian, of a child. So I think in the simplest terms, having an abortion is inherently "unmotherly." I don't know what's so vexing about that - it's not rocket science.

... Last year I had an abortion, and I can honestly say it was one of the least difficult decisions of my life. I’m not being flippant when I say it took me longer to decide what work-tops to have in the kitchen than whether I was prepared to spend the rest of my life being responsible for a further human being. I knew I would see my existing two daughters less, my husband less, my career would be hamstrung and, most importantly of all, I was just too tired to do it all again. I didn’t want another child, in the same way that I don’t suddenly want to move to Canada or buy a horse. While there was, of course, every chance that I might eventually be thankful for the arrival of a third child, I am, personally, not a gambler. I won’t spend £1 on the lottery, let alone take a punt on a pregnancy. The stakes are far, far too high.

No, Caitlin, you're not being flippant - you're being incredibly shallow and selfish. I like how you use the phrase "existing" to describe your daughters. I'm pretty sure that in order to have an abortion, there had to be something that "existed" to abort. But I'm sure glad you wouldn't let a silly thing like a third child get in the way of your career or energy. Although, in your comparison to moving to Canada or buying a horse - there are some things you could do to prevent that. For example, if you don't want to move to Canada, don't apply for a job in Canada. If you don't want to buy a horse, don't go to farm sales where horses are available. Likewise, there are some things you could do to avoid having children, many of which don't involve murder: have your tubes tied, have your husband's tubes tied, use birth control, and/or don't have sex. Again, it's not rocket science - especially if you're not a gambler and think the stakes are far, far too high to "take a punt on" a pregnancy.

... By whatever rationale you use, ending a pregnancy 12 weeks into gestation is incalculably more moral than bringing an unwanted child into this world. ...

Unless, of course, you believe in a silly thing like adoption. Because there's obviously nobody out there that would be willing to raise an "unwanted child." That's why adoption isn't even a word - and there's no such things as adoption agencies.

... if I ever did have to have an abortion again, I would like to think that it would be something unlikely to provoke a moral dilemma in anyone, least of all me. I would like to see a time when abortion is considered an intelligent, logical, humble, compassionate thing to do. ...

Whatever you say, Ms. Hitler.

(HT: Tim Ellsworth)