My Only NASCAR Post Ever

From the Onion:

FORT WORTH—Hendrick Motorsports driver Jimmie Johnson, who took the points lead in the NEXTEL Cup championship with his win in the Dickies 500 after dicing with Matt Kenseth for several laps, was visibly excited by his victory Sunday while hollering at reporters for over 40 minutes in his post-race Victory Lane press conference. "Yeeeeeeeee," exclaimed Johnson, while repeatedly firing the twin pistols awarded to him for his win into the air, "Haaaaaaaaw!" When told that his victory relegated his teammate Jeff Gordon to second place in championship points, Johnson displayed admirable humility by removing his black ten-gallon cowboy hat and muttering a respectful "Awwww."